Your new year's resolution: STOP IT.

Some points for the 'new year':

1.) You don't need to 'detox' because you ate a lot at Christmas.

You don't need weird juices with citrus and turmeric and ginger and kale to detox. You 'detox' by having a liver. Congratulations, you are all detoxing every single day. Passively.

2.) You don't need to 'go on a diet'.

'Diets' are a lie. Going on a diet to lose weight is basically a guaranteed way of putting the weight back on straight after you're 'done'. Eat your 'diet food', lose weight. Eat 'normally' for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden you've blown back up again. Are you surprised? Your body is probably thinking: "What the F*** IS GOING ON HERE?!?" Over 95% of people gain back the weight that they lost on a diet. Diet => Binge, sooner or later. You just need to make small lifestyle changes. Start small. You can still eat the things that you like, but eat them in moderation. Balance. It's all about balance. And please... Stop buying weird replacements for things. Your 'zero calorie' sweetener is no better than actual sugar (and that's ignoring that it tastes AWFUL!)  and your weird '1 calorie' spray oil is full of crap in comparison to lovely, natural oils.

3.) If you want to be healthier, have a healthy diet out of love and not out of fear.

Eat healthily to nourish your body well. Don't avoid high calorie foods because 'they'll make you fat'. Don't diet because you fear that you look bad, that other people think you look bad, or because society tells you that your body isn't 'normal' or 'how it should be'. Eat healthily and make changes because you love your body and you want to provide it with what it needs. Eat well because you want the high energy levels you'll get. Eat mindfully.

4.) Stop bloody paying into diet culture.

Just stop it. Stop paying money into an industry that only survives because it works by making humans, mostly women, feel shit about the way that they look. You're going to see adverts everywhere in the next few weeks. "January diet" and "New year's resolution: LOSE WEIGHT" and "GET BEACH READY FOR SUMMER!" are some of the phrases you're gonna see. Ignore them. If there's one thing that you ignore in your life, it's this. Your parents probably told you to ignore bullies at school, but there is nothing that you should try harder to ignore than these stupid diet advertisements that will pop up everywhere just because it's a new year. Stop paying money for these stupid courses, books, diet classes, and weigh-ins. Just quit it. You're paying into an industry that DELIBERATELY TRIES TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT THEMSELVES. And it's working - because you're going on a damn diet again. Stop it. Stop wasting your money and your time. Eat well, eat your 5 a day, eat balanced meals, and for god's sake eat some treats as well. Spend your money on good, wholesome foods and quit spending your hard-earned money. Stop enabling some brainwashed idiot to continue to make even more people feel crap about the way that they look.